domenica, maggio 30, 2004

The Theory Of True Love -the unreturned kind

the third and final installment of the trilogy of thoughts on love.



back in the first episode, i showed you how romantic love is just a social construct, given efficacy and tremendous power due to the consensual belief we conferred onto it. in the second, how that social construct subsists -the theory of availability. and now, in total complement of those two, how true love, in all its publicity, and perception thereof, can exist as real in only one form.

now you may not accept these reasons, for it truly belittles our emotions, but it's 100% pure truth.



now as a prelude to illustratin true love;

i love you sarah tan! i love you!

the love for a celebrity is true love. remember the liv tyler example? contrary to popular belief, it's not easy to love a celebrity. any one can be a fan but only few can truly love a celebrity. the key to lovin a celebrity is -the celebrity can stop you from seein her, but the celebrity can't stop you from lovin her, even if it is from afar with a 10-metre-distance court injunction. however, to qualify as true love, it must be substantiated with the usual ideals we attach to love. for example;

time;
i will love you forever, sarah tan! till the end of time!

monogamy;
i will never cheat on you, sarah tan! not even with my girlfriend!

unconditionality;
even when you're 60 sarah tan, i'll still love you for every wrinkle on your pruny tits!

emotional support;
if you ever need to talk sarah tan, i'm always here for you! one call away!

support;
if your career ever fails, i'll be here to hire you as my house servant! promise!

indeed, it's a very difficult brand of love and exactly why it must be true.



now consider the 'milder' and less theatric case of unreturned love (but for someone who actually knows you exist). unreturned love, continually shown, and unconditionally shown, must be the truest form of love. this is the only brand of love which can outlast the frailties of love as we know it. and because it is continual, it can endure the time test all other superficial affections crack under. the more you love someone, and the more that someone doesn't care about you/doesn't wanna be with you/cannot be with you, the more true your love must be if you continue it.

examples;

forrest at graveyard; "even though you're gone now, i still love you jenny."

jennifer in hospital; "it's alright brad, you can write scripts instead, now that you look like you stopped a bus with your face."

britney; "i don't know why you raped that girl justin, but i promise you i will be here for every prison visit they let you have!"

that light-hearted film love actually did a pretty good job by includin the i-love-her-but-she's-married-now scenario as one of the six relationships depicted. now that geezer with the romantic placards at the front door, he's one helluva lover and his love is definitely true. he suffers in silence watchin the girl of his dreams marry his best friend. and he has the big heart to play the fonz throughout it all for the sake of her happiness as perceived by him.

alright now, enough bollocks. i'll finish with somethin remotely honest then.



true love (the romantic kind), supposin there is such a thing, would have to be somethin absolutely maddenin. it would have to be like electricity in your heart, each beating pulse testamentary to your undyin oneness with your lover. then, it would have to choke with jealousy & possessiveness and then relieve with comfort & care. it must be spot-on, one-off, one-time and all-time, eternal. it cannot be like drawings in the sand, it's permanence subjected to the ebb and flow of the tide. it must be certain and surer than death, and in fact, it must outlast death. it would also have the power to destroy you and inspire you. then, it would have to make you know no other world than that of your lover. every day, it would have to make you wake up early and stay up late. it would have to make you lose all track of time, all sense of reality, because the only time and reality is that with your love. it would have to be intensely sexual, a constant continuum of bodily thirst, every touch longin for the next. it would have to be bittersweet, something you can't live with and can't live without. it would have to be strong and shameless, unconditional. it would have to be unreasonable and yet uncontainable. and most important of all, true love, would have to be the one and only thing that you can remember from this life.

and while i'm still bleedin with emotion, might i just add the most romantic words i've ever heard in my life;

you are my every memory.


ciao.
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Word Of The Wolf today is pernicious \pur-NISH-us\,

adjective:
Highly injurious; deadly; destructive; exceedingly harmful.

"Despite her cheap affection, brutal coldness and how he knew how very industrious she was in using men to gain advantages, Mikhail found himself helplessly falling for the pernicious femme fatale."

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Pernicious comes from Latin perniciosus, "destructive, ruinous," from pernicies, "destruction, disaster, ruin," from per-, "through, thoroughly" + nex, nec-, "violent death."


giovedì, maggio 27, 2004

Top Eleven Ambitions

1. psychic police investigator
2. italian head mafioso
3. colombian drug lord
4. the emperor of china
5. international rock star
6. hollywood a-list actor
7. world-class footballer
8. militant terrorist
9. baywatch lifeguard
10. the pope
11. toll collector

take a pick fellas.

ciao.


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Word Of The Wolf today is irrupt \ih-RUHPT\,

intransitive verb:
1. To burst in forcibly or suddenly; to intrude.
2. (Ecology) To increase rapidly in number.

"Like fire and ice, an inquisitive touch between two people of different worlds can bring about such an upheaval in the human heart, irrupting your sleeping soul."

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Irrupt is derived from the past participle of Latin irrumpere,
from ir-, in-, "in" + rumpere, "to break."


mercoledì, maggio 26, 2004

Sands Of Yesterday



he didn't have a single care in the world but to save that penalty.

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Wisdom Of The Wolf today is

"...the beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder..."

-A Room Of One's Own, 1929
Virginia Woolf


lunedì, maggio 24, 2004

Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengence and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."



cool shit. in fact, so cool i thought it couldn't possibly be in the bible because i don't remember readin anythin half as cool when i last read it. and so i was proven right after a little research.

for the privileged lot of you who did catch tarantino's pulp fiction, get this; only the last sentence is actually written in any version of the bible. commentators note that it is actually a dramatised mixture of ezekiel 25:17 and psalm 23.

one step further than that, the passage is taken to mean "leave the lord to do justice for you, for if you do not, he will judge you before he judges those who wrong you" in the context of ezekiel 25. truly demonstrated by jules as he discovers the true meanin behind the verse the second time he said it.

digressin from the movie, in the face of a decision that requires aggression or even violence, do we;

a. let nature take its course, patiently let god avenge you, let things be and walk away the bigger person

or

b. fuck nature, fuck waitin for god, take matters into your own hands and administer revenge

even if you're not a person of an aggresive disposition, situations sometimes arise to test your faith in god (assumin of course, you do believe in god). do you really have the patience to wait for an act of divine retribution against he who wrongs you? the Lord guarantees avengement but he didn't say when -it could well be long after you die. so now, do you want to live to see this retributive act inflicted upon your enemy? what if your wait gets too long and your enemy rejoices with evil laughter that ring in your head for each passin day of your life? i'm sure this was the eventual thought that passed mr. miyagi's mind when daniel was pressurin him to teach him karate to beat up the bad guys in karate kid. now that was a situation where he could do somethin about it. consider the utter hopelessness of edmond dantes in the count of monte cristo when he was stuck in chateau d'if for years without any sign of freedom let alone retribution. in the movie, he was depicted to carve "god will give me justice" on his cell walls. imagine starin at that for years.

so now my thought is simply this;

is it enough for god, if one does believes in him and his eventual justice but nevertheless acts to pursue one's own because one genuinely believes that by not doin so one would suffer?

if not, a necessary corollary must be;

does god then intend for one to suffer this way?

perhaps this sufferin is to build character, to set examples or to build faith. blind faith -to show the lord that we love him above self.

can you love the lord above yourself?

ciao.

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Word Of The Wolf today is doyen \DOY-en; DWAH-yan\, noun:

1. The senior member of a body or group.
2. One who is knowledgeable or uniquely skilled as a result of
long experience in some field of endeavor.

doyenne \doy-(Y)EN; dwah-YEN\, noun:
A woman who is a doyen.

"Like the doyen of all professional waiters across Europe, Vincent Vega soundlessly places the cutlery on Marsellus' table, to which the underworld boss nodded approvingly."
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Doyen is from French, from Late Latin decanus, "leader or chief of ten persons," from decem, "ten."


sabato, maggio 22, 2004

The Theory Of Availability -a further dig at Love

[note to all who leave comments. this site ain't a forum for discussion and i won't reply your criticisms or commendations although they're welcome. this site be a commentary-satire for comic relief. meant to entertain, that's it, that's all. ]
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for those who understood the point of the previous article; Sex, Lies & The Theory Of Love, this piece is an extension of the same vein of thought.

The Theory Of Availability expounds on how almost all relationships (don't fuck me on the proportions) is based on availability, not love as we know it.

allow me.

"oh my god, becky, guess what i heard -marshall's got a crush on you!"

how does becky proceed from this? likely options;

1."errrr, he's a geek, no way!"
2."wow, he's a rapper! fuck me now!"
3."what? marshall? he's gorgeous! but he's only here for one term!"
4."really? he's got a cute arse! i'll let him hit on me and see what he's got to offer"


therein lies the theory of availability -that many relationships stem not from genuine mutual affinity (though it might result that way later on) but from mere availability of a partner.

you see, we are flattered by attention. read -a prospective partner is good to have, more so than a partner itself. show me a man who doesn't feel good if there are women flockin at his feet? show me a woman who doesn't feel good if there are men queuein up just to smell her hair. flattery does wonders for one's self-esteem and at a time of crisis, loneliness, weakness, undecisiveness, boredom, whatever, who is to blame you for givin a new option a shot? as long as a prospective partner satisfy a few pre-requesites on your partner criterion list (e.g. he may not have a car, but he ain't ugly and has a sense of humour etc.) you'll find no reason to let a perfectly good opportunity pass. if only i could be sure about the reasons behind the romances of celebrities like posh and becks or antony and cleopatra.

next, the continuity of a relationship is also based on the continuity of availability. a previously explained example was the case of the woman with the MIA husband. that was an extreme example, because of the totality of non-availability (you have no idea whether your partner is alive even). but let's examine the simple case of a long-distance relationship. here, two competin thoughts are at play;

absence makes the heart grow fonder

v.

out of sight, out of mind

which is victorious? the former is likely to take the lead at the initial stages;

"oh my darling is in ukraine on a business transfer, i miss him so much!"

time is vital to this transition, but eventually loneliness and other factors manifest into

"i don't think i can wait for him any longer, i need him so bad!"

and later a further more fatalistic resignation,

"i can't torture myself waitin this way, i don't know when he'll get transferred back"

of course, the intensity and the preciousness of a time previously spent will prolong this lead but as we progress, throw in the possible new twist of the third party and we will inevitably see

"nah, he ain't ever comin back and paolo's such a nice guy! and that bum..ooooo"

may i quote the immortal genius of diana ross and the supremes -"if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with". life must go on. and so it does.

now a compellin argument is that of wernyz' who champions this idea but inter alia contends that the MIA husband scenario can be viewed another way -that life does go on, but movin on should not undermine the 'realness' of the love previously shared. you can look back on it with fond memories and rest in the security of the knowledge that it was a happy time indeed. somethin like 'bring it along, but put it aside'. sound view, this.

however, how does this tie in with The Theory Of Availability? it only reinforces it to me! not that i do not advocate movin on but the fact that we do move on is the perfect proof of how there shouldn't be a The One in the first place. sure, you can argue that you can't possibly be sure of who is The One -you were young, things change, whatever. get this, the identity (or even the existence) of The One changes to suit your convenience and to facilitate your desired lifestyle. if you're able to concede this, then you'll appreciate that The Theory Of Love and The Theory Of Availability are the only forces that should govern your decisions. there is nothin shameful about it for it is preservation of self and preservation of species, but it must be respected that we are naturally selfish. in short -we do what we gotta do.

what then is true love, you have to ask? holdin as true the two theories, it can only mean that true love is love that we must accept as possibly temporary from the outset itself. you cannot tell your wife you love her till the end of time at the altar. you cannot tell your girlfriend she is the only one you'll ever want. all because you cannot be sure to mean it. considerin this, all casual romances with no promises are true love. all scandalous mistresses who accept their possible shelf-life love truly. the two-timin men who lie to them about their future (e.g. i'ma divorce my wife soon, i swear) but know that they know it's just accessorisin words to facilitate the viability of their romance love truly as well. and finally, the paragon of true love i believe is this;

i love you liv tyler! i don't care if you don't even know i exist! you can't stop me from lovin you! i love you! i love you!!!

ciao.

[Tune in for another excitin spin-off episode -The Theory Of True Love -the unreturned kind]

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Word Of The Wolf today is renege \rih-NIG; -NEG\,

intransitive verb:
To go back on a promise or commitment.

"Courtney thought about their past, how it was all beautiful, but she knew she had to renege on her promises because she was in love more with the memories of Kurt than Kurt himself."

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Renege is from Medieval Latin renegare, "to deny again, to go back upon," from Latin re-, "back, again" + negare, "to say no, to deny."


venerdì, maggio 21, 2004

Proscrastination


i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time /i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time / i use this precious webspace to waste my time

wow, that was fun.

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Wisdom Of The Wolf today is


" Time is bearing another son.
Kill Time! She turns in her pain!
The oak is felled in the acorn
And the hawk in the egg kills the wren. "



-Ballad of the Long-legged Bait,
Dylan Thomas (1914–1953), Welsh poet


giovedì, maggio 20, 2004

Sex, Lies & The Theory Of Love

i'm fuckin fire in a can now. add that to the stick i got from a bro about the dishonesty of this blogsite, today's entry is gonna be somethin from the heart. so i'ma type somethin i actually mean this time. and for this special occasion you get to see my fire.

the theory of love is not uncommon. everyone has got one but this, i'm convinced is the theory of love.

love as we know it (romance, romantic affection, endearment, whatever), does not exist in the real sense of the word. there was no such thing as romantic love. there was no such thing as romantic affections from the bottom of your heart for another. it was created. i can even tell you when it was created. circa 1750 the industrial revolution, and henceforth became a fictitious flame further fanned by the amazing works of busybody propagators and literary visionaries such as william shakespeare. the rise of the machines and the shrinkin(?) of the extended family made a new problem -the need to pass property down the family line to keep it away from the state. people had been marryin each other way before this but then a new socio-economic climate had emerged to heat up the scenes. somewhere in that tumultuous age, we concocted and created the notion of love, to facilitate the continuity of marriage and inheritance. [this whole bit is real shit from the sociologist giddens, though i'm sure i fucked it up a lil]

you see, no neanderthal ever said to another that he loved her, in english or whatever nasal monosyllabic language used at that time. he just goes out there and clobbers unconscious the female he most sexually desires, drags her back to his cave and shags her silly. it is the innate and intrinsic sexual lust in us that compels us to have sex and reproduce -the way intended by our creator for propagation of any species. we have biological clocks and cycles and when it tells us it's time to fuck, we fuck. that's how families are founded. the female submits to this outrage either because she realises that the male was an excellent provider (maybe he was the strongest and could hunt well) and would make a good partner to help raise her offspring, or she was just too plain weak (physically and mentally) to resist a beefy tarzan shovin his torpedo inside her abyss because she finds out for the first time it feels good to be fucked.

why is there the practice of oral sex in the modern era? do you think cavemen and tribal women gave each other head in the old days? i have nothin to substantiate this, but i think not. they were busy makin sure their crops grew well or somethin. oral sex, as an expression of love or affection, is a social construct (which doesn't produce life). just like kissin. ask any whore about kissin and they'll tell you they'd let you shove anythin inside their cunt for a tenner but they'll freak out at the act of kissin. or watch julia robert's pretty woman. kissin, is accepted to be a form of expression of romantic love, even more so than fuckin.

you can probably see where i'm gettin at by now. love, with all its apparent real-ness, is merely another social construct.

however, love is accepted to be real because everyone subscribes to it. we accept that it is natural, and society and established norms dictate to us since young through its various agents that we are human and we fall in love. that's what we do, we fall in love. we concede the validity of notions such as the necessity of dating to meet potential suitors, the ensuin process of courtship, the exchange of sweet, everlastin promises and the consummation of all these -the institution of marriage. in other words, since you be five years old, since you be watchin wilma, fred, bam-bam and pebbles, and every other happy american family on the media, you be mindfucked from start yo.

the central theme which binds these points is that we will do whatever it takes to validate our lives and we are unconsciously plugged into the matrix of accepted social behaviour. extrapolate this vicious graph and you will see that we are actually told and taught to fall in love, somethin which never existed until we validated it collectively.

so the next time you figured you're gonna marry your boyfriend because you love him and he's The One, remember that although you meant it, and that you could very well end up in a happy marriage until your dyin day, remember that love is just the most powerful man-made creation to facilitate your mid-life, your worldly wants and the birth of your kids. it's all about relevance and security e.g. if your husband goes off to war, turns MIA, leavin you with three kids and no dough, chances are you'll need another man to facilitate your life. life must go on but your MIA man has become irrelevant. he cannot support you or your kids and there is no father-figure for your kids to look up to. he cannot satisfy your sexual needs nor alleviate your emotional anxieties because you have no idea whether he's still alive, let alone whether he'll ever return. your matrimonial vows, till-death-do-us-part's, love-you-forever-and-a-day's and your weddin photos are now effectively redundant because it doesn't put food on the table, it doesn't put a penis in your vagina and it doesn't give your kids a dad to call their own when talkin to their friends.

it's not your fault, really. you've never really been in love.

ciao.



[watch out for another excitin installment of this train of thought -The Theory Of Availability, a further underminin at the realness of love.]
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Wisdom Of The Wolf today is

"..and who shall measure the heat and violence of the poet's heart when caught and tangled in a woman's body?"

-A Room Of One's Own 1929, Virginia Woolf


martedì, maggio 18, 2004

Governments, Mafia & The Man On The Street

as far back as i can remember, i've always wanted to be a gangsta.



this is from a helluva movie so if it don't ring no bells you might wanna catch it. and well whaddya know -right after i pasted this link, i found out that this quote was really from a real brooklyn mobster, a certain henry hill. good on him. in any case, let's examine today's musing -the mafiosi.

i'm readin this book, pino arlacchi's mafia business, and it tells me that the mafia as we know it (centralised criminal organisation featurin bad-ass black-suited italian-americans, talk like rocky, always chewin food) is actually a fictional entity sensationalised by the media, and a mafioso is known as such not because he's part of a secret society but because he behaved in a certain way. ultimately, the mafia's actually based on a certain type of behaviour -the behaviour of a mafioso. in any case, today i contend that we should let all criminal organisations exist alongside established democratic governments!

as i was makin my coffee, another liberal-democrat letter arrived at the door, dissin blair and pledgin public service improvement and a cleaner europe. dya reckon we'll get the changes we want? back in malaysia, every politician sings wonderful manifestos before the elections but do we ever see change? i'm still takin that crummy 300-people-on-board bus 60 to church. here, i'm guessin how the fuck you wanna buy votes when i had the worst day yesterday with public service. the kangsta and i were drivin all around sheffield to get a fillin done on his missus' achin tooth. it was a bleedin nightmare. and when we did find one, the poor girl waited 2hrs to get it done and had to pay out of her nose. kinda reminds me of fakin severity on my my broken ankle just to get seen at the hospital. true, this be a welfare state, but dude man, i just wanna see a doctor you know? i mean, that same mornin itself the receptionist at university health told me my doctor was fully booked out for the day because she was a popular doctor. what the fuck man, i ain't orderin a whore! i just wanna see my doctor! popular doctor! fuck that!

now, if you studied sociology you'd know that if criminal organisations such as the yakuza, the new york crips, or even the spectrum of chinese triads and suchlike would be wonderful things to have existin alongside the government. that mafia book says that people in sicily & calabria had a 95% chance of recoverin stolen goods if they went to the mafia than the 10% they had if they went to the pigs. it's no secret that the yakuza and the japanese government worked together to maintain public order. the chinese use the very persuasive service of the triads to secure owed debts rather than payin shitloads by takin the matter to court.

the government is clearly insufficient in addressin pressin social needs such as these. to the average man on the street, we don't care about no war of bushes and blairs, we just want food on the table, good education for our kids and safe neighbourhoods to live in.

food on the table
government -tax hardworkin people fuckloads and give it as welfare benefit to lazy-ass junkie bummers
mafiosi -build criminal empire, create more jobs, diversify black economy and raise GDP (like italy)

education for our kids
government -impose extortionate tuition fees, marginalise the poor, decrease social mobility, increase social polarisation
mafiosi -build criminal empire, increase social mobility, redistribute income concentration

safe neighbourhoods to live in
government -pay pigs to catch petty weed-smokers and fine inconsequential illegal parkers like me, finance silly non-rehab prisons
mafiosi -regulate the streets through street justice, punish wrongdoing in a speedy and systematic fashion, maintain social order

the verdict is yours!

ciao.
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Word Of The Wolf today is salad days
noun:
A time of youthful inexperience, innocence, or indiscretion.

"During his salad days, Don Demonio was practically unknown but today he is a made man with twenty hits under his belt and one mean-ass face that puts Pacino's scarface to shame."

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Salad days was coined by Shakespeare in Antony and Cleopatra:
"My salad days,/ When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."


lunedì, maggio 17, 2004

Of Wolf And Man

ke hadapan saudara dilettante yang berada jauh di malaysia. semoga jauh-jauh lagi. diharapkan laman maya ini dapat menghiburkan anda di samping mengeratkan hubungan silaturahim malatlow antara kami.

allow me to explain what this weblog is all about. it ain't about self-obsession. it ain't my online journal. what, you think i let you lot see inside the eye of my mind that easy. no way, pedro. gone are the attention-seekin days of yore. most of me other blogger mates write about themselves and their experiences but i'ma do this one step different -this gonna be comic relief, altruistic reflection and just random hotlinks to a world previously unseen to you. it's to suggest another view to you, sometimes not necessarily mine. it's to entertain you, to enrich you, to confuse you, to move you, to inspire you. and so let me tell you why the theme is the wolf -because there are many desirable qualities about the wolf. and i wanna have as many as i can of those qualities.

therein lies the parable of the wolf -for the wolf is a lot like man but far nobler.



you see, the wolf is the only mammal with a highly complex social hierarchy other than man. e.g. how at any one time, only the alpha male and female can fuck and breed, and others probably just have to settle for oral or whatever. draw a parallel between this and the social sex games that man play -don't the dude with the best looks and the flashest car (translated to sense of security and material provision vis-a-vis her prospective progeny) get the choice chick? and why far nobler? the male cannot keep harems like men, for he is loyal to the alpha female. or at least i think. coincidentally illustratin this point, congratulations to my bro william, on the addition of a new female to our pack, a lovely morsel of a woman by the name of carmen. bear in mind i'ma take the alpha seat back and jiao kao your bitches as soon as i return home.

moving on, respect your elders; the alpha wolf reigns superior over the subordinate lengs (cantonese) and routinely asserts and enforces himself against them by standin over them, scarin them and bitin them even. and the poor dawg gotta submit to this treatment or risk bein outcast and windin up a lone wolf. and if you didn't know, the lone wolf is an actual term for a wolf that leaves the pack because of shit like this. kinda like how the biggest kid always bullies you at recess innit. by the way, is that malay director's BULI any good? someone drop me feedback on this please.

anyway back to wolves. the quality i most covet is the one i most lack -the wolf, with all his ego and pride, actually avoids man and other species. they ain't shy, but they ain't confrontational. they might leave territorial pissings everywhere and howl loudly like they got a rocco dildo shoved up their rectum, but they don't fuck with none till someone or somethin fucks with em. in short they don't look for trouble. if only i were a bit more like that.

well then, one can keep tryin.

ciao.

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Word Of The Wolf today is lucubration\loo-kyoo-BRAY-shun; loo-kuh-\,

noun:
1. The act of studying by candlelight; nocturnal study; meditation.
2. That which is composed by night; that which is produced by
meditation in retirement; hence (loosely) any literary
composition.

"These uneventful nights of academic lucubration compel me to write bollocks, some of which include this most unfortunate entry."

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Lucubration comes from Latin lucubratus, past participle of lucubrare, "to work by night, composed at night (as by candlelight)," ultimately connected with lux, "light." Hence it is related to lucent, "shining, bright," and lucid, "clear." The verb form is lucubrate.


domenica, maggio 16, 2004

Low On Da Dough

same shit different day. got three days before my bank draft clears, and i got a whole three pounds in my wallet and an additional 4.67 in the bank.

what dis nigga gon eat?

it's all about the money these days. maybe if i caught one of em cons on the FBI top ten wanted list i can get some dough. osama's head is still US 27million and even those small-time sex offenders fetch a decent price. ah, once more we are at a career dilemma; a law degree as a passport to patrician corporate greatness or to fuck that and to buy a new .45 to work as a cool hitman mercenary? the things i'll do to make that extra $$$ make me wonder why i ain't half as dedicated to other non-monetary pursuits, like women or spiritual fulfilment. now if you were the analytical sort, you would understand how it's possible that one can HAVE no other pursuits, which is why one would so obstinately cling on to the self-amplified importance of a single selected pursuit. like how captain ahab hunts moby dick like a dog in heat lookin for a pole to hump -cause he ain't got nothin left to wanna do. how edmond dantes wants to whack fernand montego cause he nicked his bitch -cause he ain't got nothin left to wanna do. and onto a more real and recent example, how my bro bob the blob is writin gangsta-rap lyrics like biggie on a creative high though he's 100% chinese and can't tell east side from west side -cause he ain't got nothin left to wanna do. ah, the self-compensatory instruments we devise to inject artificial meanin to life. life ain't about the moolah. true, if you ain't got the moolah, you wouldn't be able to buy the loaf of bread that gives you the energy to type this shit even, BUT if your life is ONLY about the moolah, then that's all you got to live for. none else. and that's a sad shit way to go yo. so i'ma take 1pound from this 3 that i got to buy a burger and think on about what MY life is all about. hunt when you must -at this point, it's about that burger.

ciao


Genesis

and in the beginnin there were no blogs. now they're fuckin everywhere. like rabbits in a warm backyard. fuckin everywhere. everywhere fuckin.