Top 10 Films Of All Time

for bob, carmen, stef and the rest of you lot who agree.

1. Titanic oh my gawddd so schweeeeett! leo dicrapio was so talented here and kate winslet was simply adorable. when i watched this, i cried like a beaten whore because this film provoked sentiments that the human heart can't bear. i mean, isn't it just so heroic to profess your undyin love to the woman of your life when you're floatin on a plank with minutes to live, frozen bollocks and all? nevermind he only met the tart (i mean girl) for a few days, his conviction and devotion was simply colossal. i'm also very impressed by the astoundingly clever and original dialogue in this film with such classic lines like the airline stewardess instruction"you jump, i jump" and the unbelievably subtle "i want you to paint me wearin this. wearin only this". there is no doubt in my mind that titanic is the greatest film ever, displacin gone with the wind as the one true romance epic for the ages. who cares if this the film is entirely fiction?

2. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days oh my gawddd so schweeeeett! david wrote a review criticisin this film here, but i just don't understand him. this movie is simply amazin and the plot was so utterly unpredictable and heart-stoppingly excitin i had to check myself for bruises after the film. i was totally like, on like, the edge of my seat i swear, i totally had, like NO CLUE they would like, fall in love after all you know, i mean like, totally NO CLUE okaaayy, totally. kate hudson is such an embarassment of talent really and i can't understand why david said she's a dog. carmen has insisted that this film is not her favourite. i can only wonder which blindin classic took the honours instead?

3. A Walk To Remember oh my gawddd so schweeeeet! i'm so ashamed of myself that i can't remember anythin about this movie at all. i can't remember the story, the actress, nothin at all. mandy whore, was it? whatsherface mandy sore? mandy raw? o please forgive me, i do know it's a great film because all my friends say so (like duh), it's just that i can't remember anythin about it. hmmm, strange.

4. Maid In Manhattan oh my gawddd so schweeeeett! at first i thought j.lo would never be accepted by the rich guy since he thought she was a rich girl and not a maid. i mean i had no idea okaaayy. and then in the end finally he accepts her EVEN THOUGH she's just a maid. wow love does conquer all! my faith in true love is restored forever more by the powerful message in this film. i'm sooooo touched there are tears comin outta my ears. also, there's that fuzzy warm feelin... in my anus.

5. Crossroads oh my gawddd so schweeeeett! how anyone can have nasty things to say about britney spears is beyond me. she's cute, immensely talented and she's EVEN a nice person. is there anythin she can't do? she even said she was a virgin for a long time okaayy. and then in the movie, she sang "i'm not a girl, not yet a woman" which must be the most original and inspirin songs in the world next to celine dion's "my heart will go on".

6. Along Came Polly oh my gawddd so schweeeeett! again this is one of the only films in the world with a twist to the ending and the pair of lovers actually end up together after all! i mean, who would've thought so? and can i just say that jennifer aniston is one of the best actresses in the world, alongside the immortal talents of audrey hepburn, maggie smith and ingrid bergman. her versatility as a performer is simply amazin. if you don't believe me you can just watch her character on friends, or her character in bruce almighty or her character in rock star. she has played such a range of roles in these three films -a likeable cute blonde, a likeable cute blonde, a likeable cute blonde and in along came polly she even plays (wait for it) ... the role of a likeable cute blonde! why aniston has never won an oscar yet for any of her performances is truly a mind-bogglin mystery that befuddles the human mind no end.

7. Bridget Jones's Diary oh my gawddd so schweeeeett! candy-crazy, saccharine, syrupy, sugar-coated, MTV soda pop bubblegum youth would love this! did i mention candy-crazy, saccharine, syrupy, sugar-coated MTV soda pop bubblegum youth?

8. She's All That oh my gawddd so schweeeeett! this film should really be a documentary actually because it's such a true-to-life portrayal of schoolin days. guy takes a bet that he can get girl, gets her, she finds out, she loves him still -how can anybody deny the sheer cuttin-edge pioneer work done here? i mean this is groundbreakin, man-on-the-moon, first-of-it's-kind stuff! i demand a place for it's director in the hall of fame alongside tarantino, bergman, kurosawa and hitchcock. it's just so sad that hollywood these days overlooks masterpieces like this in favour of pretentious arthouse productions.

9. Just Married oh my gawddd so schweeeeett! ashton kutscher and britanny murphy display an unforgettable chemistry here and it must rank alongside rhett butler and vivien leigh as the best screen couple of all time! or maybe popeye and olive oil. watch in awe as the duo overcome all obstacles in the name of love!

10. Freaky Friday oh my gawdddd so schweeeeett! well not really but don't you think it was soooo funny? it was excruciatin ticklin for 90plus minutes for me because it was hilarious to see lindsay lohan stuck in the body of her mom. but the REAL point of the movie is actually its utterly impactful take on everyday life. i mean, this is really important stuff you gotta think about you know -what if one day you woke up and got stuck in another person's body? a truly introspective character study of human frailty which deserves more plaudits than it's afforded. after watchin this film, you're bound to be more self-aware of the things you take for granted in life, like the ability to remain in your body and not get it switched between you and your mom.

so go out there and buy these timeless classics. lord knows how they will enrich our lives for centuries to come. yes that's right, think not for yourself but also for your children... and your children's children... for these films are the epitome and embodiment of human culture and progress. go on, you know you wanna...

p/s i've only watched one or two of these films. sorry i lied.

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Word Of The Wolf today is woebegone \WOE-bee-gon\,

adjective:
1. Beset or overwhelmed with woe; immersed in grief or sorrow; woeful.
2. Being in a sorry condition; dismal-looking; dilapidated; run-down.

"And who shall stop to shed a tear for the woebegone wolf when he is well and truly gone? It is to be expected. Therefore, to be prepared for."

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Woebegone is from Middle English wo begon, from wo (from Old English wa, used to express grief) + begon, past participle of begon, "to go about, to beset," from Old English began, bigan, from bi-, "around, about"+ gan, "to go."