Andy, Sam & Chris

i find it extremely ARTIFICIAL, PRETENTIOUS and VAIN that people lie about their names.

1. givin yourself an entirely new name
first, i wish to exonerate the entertainment industry for stage names that actors or singers have. not everyone is lucky enough to have entirely pronounceable birth names and the entertainment industry is about gettin noticed. Norma Jean Baker just had to be Marilyn Monroe unless demure country bumpkin hicks can be international sex icons. secondly i wish to also exonerate the chinese community worldwide who have christian names strictly for the efficacy of business. there can be no fault in havin a name which facilitates better dealin in business, as this is a matter of livelihood. thirdly i wish to exculpate people who have genuinely given tags (someone else named them so and it stuck). however i've bones to pick with glamour hunters. i've a relative who names herself after the heroine in every new film she watches. she was ariel after the little mermaid and she was rachael after she saw Friends. and to all the janices, carrins, caryns, carmens, williams, alans, johnnys and jessicas out there who have nothin to do with those names by virtue of baptism by priests nor christenin by friends, i laugh secretly when you make me call you lot that.

2. shortenin your name to make it sound more glorious/sexy/acceptable
may i present you the "folly trinity" -andy, sam and chris who are in actual fact, muniandy, samivellu and krishnamoorthi. wtf! these are real names printed on the business cards of indian plumbers and gardeners who came to my house. though there might be a socio-economic reason which would acquit them of the charge, we'll never know. what's next? Sal Nash, the lesser known cousin of Kevin Nash who really is Salleh bin Nashraf the used-car salesman? or a local gangland henchman notoriously named Lou Bad who's actually just Kamalouddeen Abdul Badawi?

3. pronouncin your name differently to achieve false distinction
ahhh how could i forget my sweet negri romantic interest, "Megan". especially since i found out after a bit that her name was really Lxx May Gun (name protected since she's real and i don't wanna offend her). imagine the many men out there who were fooled by lushious-soundin names advertised by certain girls like Lim Choo Lek (Juliet Lim), Tan Pek Kah (Becca Tan), and Lee Ka Man (Carmen). seriously girls, it's histerically funny.

we also have a rare breed of people who insist on people sayin their name as KON-STAH-NCE if you called them Constance. or maybe DEE-YAH-NA when it really is just Diana. from my own experience, these are just people who discovered their names sounded more glamourous with a different accent so they just adopted it at a certain age. if an american girl with no italian lineage tells you her name is FRAN-CHES-KAH, it's really just FRAN-SESS-KA (Francesca) tryin hard to sound exotic. if a chinese bloke tells you his name is FAH-BEE-OHN, and he and his parents don't know fuck all about the french, he's just Fabian. enough said.

before i go, i just wanna say that the coolest names are the ones given to you because they actually do tell a story. nahajo indians who have names like One Stab, Three Eagles or Dancing Wolf are absolutely fabulous. early christians who believed a name should explain a birth or expectation thereof didn't do badly with names like Nicholas (victory for the people), Earl (Old English eorl "nobleman, warrior") or John (derived from Hebrew meanin "Yahweh is gracious"). it's also very real to have street names that tell a story, e.g. Fat Tony (the simpsons), Boris The Blade (snatch), or Barry The Baptist (lot, stock & two smoking barrels) so long as you didn't give yourself that name. in fact, the more unflatterin a nickname is, the likelier it is that there's a good story behind it. this is why i think my mate should just accept Bob The Blob as his name.

remember, it is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not.

ciao.

p/s those plannin to attack me about my name, i won't reply because a) this site ain't a forum and b) it was given to me, so sod off.

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Word Of The Wolf today is extemporaneous \ek-stem-puh-RAY-nee-us\,

adjective:
1. Composed, performed, or uttered on the spur of the moment, or without previous study; unpremeditated; impromptu.
2. Prepared beforehand but delivered without notes or text.
3. Skilled at or given to extemporaneous speech.
4. Provided, made, or put to use as an expedient; makeshift.

"In this modern age of over-planned parenting, it was nice to see Jack and his wife cuddling their newborn daughter, thinking of a good name when a bee appeared suddenly and stung the attending nurse, thereupon prompting them to extemporaneously name her Melissa, meaning bee in Greek".

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Extemporaneous comes from Late Latin extemporaneus, from Latin ex tempore, "out of time," therefore "immediately, at the very time the occasion arises." It is related to temporary, "lasting for a limited time"; contemporary, "belonging to the same time" (con-, "with, together"); and tempo, "the rate or degree of movement in time."