Chinese Can't Play Football

in the interests of brevity, this entry will not cover the numerous downfalls of the chinese dynasty nor any of the opium-smokin, daughter-wagerin habits we are so infamously attributed with.

to those who are objective and brutal enough to accept it -chinese can't play football.

sure we have a coupla sun jihais and hao haidongs at the highest level but there is somethin really, really ugly and hateful about the way chinese people play football at a non-professional level. whether the man in question is a mainlander proper, a hong kong chink, a malaysian chink (like me) or any other chink derivative who ever held a bowl of fuckin rice, nothin nice can be said about the quality of football we generally display.

perhaps it's because we aren't blessed with a footballin brain like europeans nor the technical gifts of nippy asians. as such, the game always becomes a wrestlin competition or worse, a field for chinese pride to manifest itself with every other player threatenin to call his "gang" when perceived to be unfairly tackled.

on saturday i went to warwick to play football for sheffield's chinese society as they ain't got enough men. it was called the warwick hong kong society football tournament. it sucked like the vacuum lips of a hungry whore. in every game, there were never more than five passes strung consecutively. 80% of play is done in midfield playin head tennis with the football. the remainin 20% is spent chasin loose balls due to inept and stray passes. worst still, in about every four seconds or so, you get to witness a player hackin the legs of another. fuckin chop, slice, hammer and debone like in an abattoir. fuckin butchery. everyone was bleedin bleedin. the beautiful game was reduced to a WWII amputational clinic camp. this was truly the case when you see them walk off the pitch at the whistle. bandaged, plastered and with blood gushin out from each part of the anatomy, as they hobbled along to find their missin limbs. then you'd hear the customary cry of the correspondin soldier's girlfriend,

"wahhh.. alan ah... hou MAN ahhh..."

this is translated as "wow alan, you are so macho". i can really cry when i hear this.

needless to say, i will never play football in an entirely chinese-participated tournament again. ever. not even after the piece of flesh on my arse has grown back after the tackles.


and one last thing, CHISOC can SOC my COC.

ciao.

_________________________________________________________


Word Of The Wolf today is obloquy \OB-luh-kwee\,

noun:

1. Strongly condemnatory or abusive language or utterance.
2. The condition of disgrace suffered as a result of public blame, abuse, or condemnation; ill repute.

"Dismiss this entry as hateful obliquy if you will but you do so in grave omission for it speaks a truth nobody wants to hear."

________________________________________________________
Obloquy derives from Latin obloqui, "to speak against," from ob-, "against" + loqui, "to speak."