Sleepless In Sheffield

i recall a cold november night not too long ago last year.

there was somethin very stale in the air but i thought it's just that there was a missin smell that usually balanced that. i think it's called the smell of life.

that night, there was deadness everywhere. there was deadness in the unmovin trees, obstinate in their wisdom. deadness on the streets, with no cars nor people, for even the familiar homeless man was missin from my sight that night. no sign of the drunk students, nor the accompanyin police patrolmen who usually appeared close by. there was so much deadness in the way the night sounded, with no distant crickets nor limpin dogs, and the only conversation i imagined happened was that between the crescent in the sky and the clouds around it. there was deadness even in the way my hot coffee mug breathed into the frosty air, the way my cigarette smoke went right up in a straight solemn line. no wind, no sounds, no smells.

in this state of uneventfulness, i had to further imagine what must have been happenin that night. perhaps not too far away were the sighs of the worrisome wife, waitin for her workin man. also unheard would probably have been the sweet nothings whispered amongst lovers sleepin tight. i thought that in every silent buildin, there were hopeful hearts of men makin inaudible dreams for success, unconsciously in their honest slumber.

and then there was me, the watcher of the night, company for the lonely owls. wonderin how my day was again incomplete, wishin again that tomorrow would be somewhat different, and findin out that nothin would change still.

________________________________________________________

Word Of The Wolf today is puckish \PUHK-ish\,

adjective:
Whimsical; mischievous; impish.

"Superficially obnoxious, his friendly, puckish manner endeared him to those who relished the intensity of a good laugh."

______________________________________________________________
Puckish comes from Puck, the name of a mischievous sprite in
English folklore, from Middle English pouke, "goblin," from
Old English puca.

[A]re not you he
That frights the maidens of the villagery;
Skim milk, and sometimes labour in the quern
And bootless make the breathless housewife churn;
And sometime make the drink to bear no barm;
Mislead night-wanderers, laughing at their harm?
Those that Hobgoblin call you and sweet Puck,
You do their work, and they shall have good luck:
Are not you he?
--Shakespeare, A Midsummernight's Dream

The Clown

as dawn breaks another slumber,
an all too familiar climb
from out of the bed and into his courage,
the clown would make his morning beverage

he puts on his suit and paints on his face,
an all too familiar mask
for all of the children and some of the men,
he must make them laugh as best as he can

he drags his feet and make to work,
an all too familiar walk
then the show is on and his turn is up
the crowd would roar and laugh and erupt

he does all his tricks of saucers and sticks,
a familiar act
but he soon grew weary, his feet were sore,
just fifteen fucking minutes more

he struggles to keep his required smile,
a familiar deed
to wow the audience and bow to the applause
to last the torture till curtains draw

hurrah to the clown,
a familiar cheer
not a day-off, never a letdown
eternal employee of the entire town

now work is done and the night is over,
a familiar relief
he ups his orders and downs his beer
wondering again how he ever got here

as he lay his head to bed that night,
an unfamiliar thought
of how his props and jobs and hobbit-like hops
are beginnin to warrant a holiday stop

and as he awoke the following morn,
an unfamiliar hour
he left all his toys and took some joy
in starting anew free as a boy

he ran from the ring,
an unfamiliar smell
away from the caravan and over the walls
the scent of life he heard its call

alas the dream was not to be
a most unfamiliar state
the people would jeer and joke and jest,
for as a clown he forever is known by best

the dreaded return to the big top,
an all too familiar climb
back from a dream and back to the darkness
the smiles, the laughs and forever the hours.

for faisal
________________________________________________________

Word Of The Wolf today is peremptory \puh-REMP-tuh-ree\,

adjective:
1. Precluding or putting an end to all debate or action.
2. Not allowing contradiction or refusal; absolute; decisive; conclusive; final.
3. Expressive of urgency or command.
4. Offensively self-assured or given to exercising usually unwarranted power; dictatorial; dogmatic.

"The sharp end of the sword is a very persuasive and peremptory means of securing an owed debt for the retro gangsters of yesteryears."

_____________________________________________________
Peremptory comes from Latin peremptorius, "destructive," from
peremptus, past participle of perimere, "to take thoroughly,
to do away with, to destroy; hence, to thwart, to frustrate,"
from per-, "thoroughly" + emere, "to take, to obtain."

Service Temporarily Unavailable

my fellow readers,

the time has come for this site to cease operation until an indefinite date.

many untoward events has caused me to be unable to continue this site. for one, the lack of donations has hampered the presentational attributes of its layout. my own personal problems, such as the search for a new huntin ground and a new species of prey for this impoverished wolf has also taken its toll on my wakin hours. until these problems are solved, i can only wish for your supportin howls and prayers.

i thank you for your loyal patronage to this den and i hope to see you again in the near future, when the ways of the wolf will come to live again.

ciao.

Elections In England

havin sealed my ballot papers, i'm right about to set foot to my friendly post office to mail it along with the zeebay items i so cleverly flogged before i decided to put in this entry.

what the fuck is a foreign student doin in the electoral roll?

i'm no pundit in world politics. if you've read my previous take on how much of half a wolf's fart i give about the war, you'll see how very uninformed my opinions are if i ever made one on world politics. i wouldn't even know there was political unrest in israel unless it affected the world of football. oh and by the way, have you read that chechen side terek grozny has just won the russian cup final, qualifyin for the uefa cup. this means that top european teams might have to travel to that godforsaken place to play. it's crazy there apparently, and the local team can't even play in chechnya itself because of the civil wars! imagine liverpool (yes, i'm not fool enough to think liverpool will last long in the champs league qualifiers even) havin to bring their spice boys to chechnya to play. well if anyone's gonna die i hope that useless heskey would be it.

anyway, back to the theme. i don't know fuck all about world politics, but i do know that someone as under-informed as me shouldn't have been given postal ballots to cast a vote. i mean, it looks like a pop quiz to me, with all them logos and shit. what's there to stop me from votin a party with the coolest name? or one with the most artsy logo? i'm a fuckin foreign student! if not for curious readin up, i wouldn't have known that the british national party is a racist front masqueradin behind terms like patrioticism and asylum prevention. the brochure looks real cool though although they had to stress they're not racist, with pics of muslim extremists burnin the uk flag. it says 2million illegal immigrants and asylum seekers are pushin britain's services, benefits and NHS to burstin point.

i draw parallels between this and the situation in malaysia, my home country. i ask, "would i like it if all them immigrants are doin the same?" well, for one, malaysia ain't got a public service sector worth a wolf's fart. public transportation is as reliable as my ex-girlfriend's menstrual cycle. medical facilities? phua chu kang's command of english puts my psychiatrist's at the university hospital to shame. in short, i couldn't care less if more and bangladeshis get stuffed into that bus along with me anyway.

however, i'm concerned about violent crimes committed by immigrants. those who came without families ain't got none to lose and they have enrolled on the hitmen-for-hire payroll with local underworld syndicates. i'm purist when it comes to the underworld structure, and i think it's a very bad idea to get the foreigners involved in our own gangland affairs. it's hard to regulate employees with no loyalty nor a permanent address.

we can diss them all we want but we cannot take it away from them that they are hard workers. they may undercut our own local workforce, but every single burmese, indonesian and bangladeshi i've worked with and known, they bust their immigrant arses to send that RM1000 odd back to their home countries. probably the criminals do the same too, to some mistress or some illegitimate daughter. they work hard. just like the immigrants in england. dari kanta serigala (from the eyes of the wolf), this foreign student observes that the immigrants here work very hard to earn their keep. in lazy yorkshire, i find myself, a payin customer, turned away so many times because most people just don't give a howl about gettin business. local garages couldn't be bothered to fix my power steerin rack on my old vectra. too much work. that's bollocks in malaysia. people die for your business, not turn it away. even if they do have too much work, they'll devise a way to hold your business and get that ringgit from you.

here, the asian garages are the only ones who are game on anythin. they might be sly about it sometimes, hopin to make an extra tenner here and there, but they do a bang-on job and more importantly, they don't mess about.

they probably constitute a great slice of the economic pie, i don't know. does this justify their stronghold and continued residence here? i guess every country wants a united identity. i hear "a malaysian malaysia" and "a british britain" bandied about. are these euphemistic propaganda to get us to stem the inflow of immigrants in the name of patriotism? then a specific question i put myself to was, "do i want the local bangladeshi to have equal rights as me, and enjoy equal benefits as a citizen?"

regardless of what i think, the common cry amongst the people would surely be one of pessimism. malaysians are not well-known for sharin anythin. even among ourselves we're still disputin rights conferred ages ago. three main races are already causin enough chaos in the pack -what would happen if the bangladeshi population grew big enough and plan to establish a union for representation of their rights? should we ignore them, all our petrol kiosks for instance, would go bonkers and nationwide strikes would definitely destabilise the economy. with the latest shock on indonesian house servant torture in malaysia, who's to rule out a new trade union by them to rally for equality?

my point is just that things would get outta control. i hate upheavals of any sort. i'd prefer if we stayed in a stable dungeon than livin in a nice new house that might collapse. i don't even wanna risk it.

this then made me realise, i've got as much confidence in government and the rule of law as i do in liverpool winnin the european cup.

i've gotta care, right? but i don't. i'm old enough to vote in malaysia but i ain't even got the time to bother to get myself on the electoral roll. and here i am votin for my local mayor in england. perhaps the winds of change are blowin this way to rattle this wolf. is it time to shine some rays of urgency into my den of apathy?

i should stop smokin first before i think of savin the world.

ciao.


________________________________________________________

Word Of The Wolf today is crabwise \KRAB-wyz\,

adjective:
1. Sideways.
2. In a cautiously indirect manner.

"Don Demonio nervously moved crabwise as he progressed with the various questions posed by the court to incriminate him for organised crime."

Support me, I plead to thee!

fellow followers of the way of the wolf,

as we progress in our lives, it is only natural to be faced with obstacles aplenty. a most unforseen situation has emerged, threatenin to bring the curtains down on this blogsite.

shortage of resources has made the maintenance of this site difficult. i can't find a picture hosting service that allows me enough credits to put up the wonderful pictures that we so love to view. worse still, as the hit counter ticks on, more and more views are registered and soon the pictures won't show anymore. as the credits diminish, i have no choice but to contemplate payin for more credits to support the site.

in view of this prospect, i have set up a paypal donation button with the sincere hope that my loyal readers would contribute towards my costs. it's merely a nominal GBP0.50 that i ask from each reader, and i pledge to utilise your generous donation for the betterment of this cause. we need USD5.00 to get goin for the first month and i trust this shouldn't be too hard if you lot offer this wolf a helpin paw.

for those who have read about my financial position, you would certainly appreciate the frustration of my plight.

in my labour of love, i'm tryin hard to learn as much html as possible to include as many features as i can. a new radio playin .swf tunes called Wails Of The Wolf would be out soon, barrin any untoward events. a tag board would also be on its way.

with this, i give out a half-a-pound howl to those who empathise with this strugglin wolf.

ciao.