A Defence Of The Conscious Smoker

Zee: It says here mate in this NHS leaflet that you lose about 5 minutes of your life with every cigarette you smoke.

Billy: Yeah? No shit, Sherlock.

Zee: Well we've been waitin for the taxi for 15 minutes and you've done three. How does it feel to have 15 minutes of your life taken away just like that?

Billy: I'll tell ya what mate. If I died right now and was resurrected by Jesus and he gave me another 15 minutes to live, I'd use it to smoke three cigarettes.

in Lumet's 1975 cult classic Dog Day Afternoon, touted by most as Al Pacino's best performance, he starred alongside his good friend, a strange-lookin man named John Cazale. his character, Sal (Fredo in the Godfather films, remember?) was asked in the movie why he wasn't a smoker. he replied that it was because he didn't want cancer. he was then asked how he could rob a bank and not wanna smoke. he just replied that the people who did were just weak and the body is a temple of the Lord.

conversely, not too long ago Darren and i were havin a drink together when some joker asked him the question. "why do you smoke, don't you fear dyin on a bed slowly?" were the words, i think. my chigga calmly replied "mark my words, i will never live to see the grand effects of this cigarette i'm smokin now."

why do people smoke if they fully know they're at a very high risk of dyin from it?

this is not an attempt to justify smokin tobacco. there can be no such thing as Faisal once rightly said to me. smokin kills. simple as. end of. but while the persecutin world is quick to cast stones and the sinners are just as adept to put up shields, i who have been both the factions will try to explain a more comprehensive and causative reason why some people who know only too well the perils of smokin, choose to do it still.

you see, any reason given by the average smoker is not the ROOT reason. it is often only an ugly manifestation of a human inadequacy. if someone smokes because he says he want to be more mature or to look cool (amongst peers or within your occupational culture), this could be an indication of a need for acceptance and validation. if someone cites boredom, this could be traced back to a lack of self-esteem and a meanin in life. as for me, for a long period of my life, i thought that the reason i started was because i wanted a sense of autonomy over myself, a rebellious self-affirmation, as if to say "this is body and i can do whatever i damn well please with it". i guess this probably emerged from my denial of authority which itself is a sign of a lack in self-esteem/an overbearin restriction in self-expression/a domineerin mother -whatever.

for the 1001 reasons a person may have for startin to smoke, a gilt-edged force sustains the habit. is it both the psychological addiction and physical addiction that keep it up.

but now introduce an imminent and forseeable danger to the person and the person is at another tangent of choice. the fear of death or harm is put up against the strength of the addiction.

too often fools will say they don't care and that they will die anyway and that they are unafraid. as such, you see people quit after somethin life-threatenin happens like coughin up their kidney along with a gallon of blood -the fear of death wins.

but then there are those who persist. men who are bedridden in hospital with a history of six cardiac arrests and perennial lung failure and still ask "can i have a quarter-pounder cheeseburger for dinner, nurse and can you buy me a pack of marlboro reds?". how do you explain this group of people?

the answer lies in the concept of fatalistic resignation. the act of actively affirmin a self-fulfillin prophecy.

these people i would say are the people who had already died long before they actually do. it didn't matter whether they were to die in diapers painfully from a chronic disorder at 70 or if they were to die painlessly the next day from a fallin flower pot on the head. these are people who do not love and do not live anymore, long before they meet their fate. these people may be downright ignorant for losin their ideals but they are not stupid in the sense that you think they don't know how stinky shit really is until it hits the fan. i am not stupid. it is an informed choice, however silly the choice is, and time will tell if i can live it out as bravely as i say i can.

John Cazale the actor died of cancer in 1978, three years after the film was released. Darren was murdered last year and his first death anniversary is comin up soon.

ciao.


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Wisdom Of The Wolf today is a poem titled "Why"

Time to smoke a thousand whys

a cigarette burns, a cigarette dies

waking up to packs of lies

twenty sticks of false goodbyes

circa November 2002.