What Is Constant?

"make like you are to die. unlearn everythin you know and give all your money away. don't talk to anyone or do anythin social. live in your room for a week by stockin up on dried footstuffs and pee out the window. unhook the internet connection, shut your cellular and shit on the rooftop if you have to. on the seventh day, examine who you are and why you are the way you are. it works -you can see it so clearly. soon thereafter, resume normal life. all the false prophets will pontificate no more because in this new level of consciousness, they will sound like beggars askin for change. the false friends will reveal themselves as well, along with all the circumstantial people you have been acquainted with. material wealth will bear new meanin to you, either reaffirmed or disintegrated. emotional or spiritual wealth will also be redefined. what you really, really want becomes apparent, for you have removed most of the external factors which governed all your decisions in life. the purpose of your life if there is one, will be clear. everythin will be clear. "

i didn't have the discipline (or enough biscuits and poo-bags) to complete this exercise but i believe i had achieved some of its objectives. i can see things better now, in fuller perspective, contrasted against established history and probable expectations.

you see, in science, the same external stimuli subjected to the same objects will produce similar results. extrapolate this to the social scenario -if you were born and lived somewhere else, with different parentage, different friends, different schools and ultimately difference cultures and experiences, would you still possess the same opinions as you do now? you are a product of your past experiences, true. however, would any other individual react the same way you did to a certain event, if he/she had the same predispositions you do?

in essence, this is like a question about the/a matrix. to what extent are things you do a natural and consistent response to external stimuli? conversely, to what extent are the things you do entirely your own, incorruptible by dictations of society and its various agents?

if you were born to amish parents, you will most likely not have muslim convictions. however, if you made only muslim friends in your life or fell in love with a muslim, this might change. if you didn't leave town or was home-schooled by your anti-establishment parents, it wouldn't. the crux of the exercise is; what would be constant throughout? if homosexuality was proven to be pathological, and you were gay as christmas, could this change? can society make you change? a brother told me there ain't a single faggot in kenya, so is evolution of mankind a factor?

once you have established at which point of the scale do you stand, you can comfortably distinguish as to which of your decisions and attributes are unchangingly intrinsic and which are inherently automated by subconscious patterns.

therefore, i now know that i am educated and spoilt because my parents are rich. if i were a brother in rwanda, i'd be one illiterate bad mofo carryin an uzi since age nine, tryin to keep my family alive. i now know that i have psychiatric problems because i can afford it. if i were a fisherman in china, i'd be crackin my brains tryin to put food on the table, nevermind visit NHS shrinks to ascertain my emotional distress.

all my life i've been tryin to isolate myself from the external factors which predisposed me to behave in a certain way. and i have learnt that there are a few things which i feel would've been constant.

i know i am good with words instead of numbers since young. i learnt how to talk way faster than other kids did (my mum's good diet a possible determinant) so i'd be one mouthy son of a bitch even if i were born to a quiet tibetan family. you might argue that this may be a quality which was honed and improved due to my education and upbringin, but i think that talent in its rawest form cannot be learnt. like how i believe my brother johan can never kick straight let alone play football like maradona.

i also now know that i am pathologically violent, and it was recently discovered that i liked to destroy toys and burn things since young. so i'd bet i'm still gonna be an eminem wannabe with my knives and weapons if i were born to a family of tree-huggin, peace-lovin hippies in america's 70s. but how strong are these external factors to pervert you from your natural course? is there a natural course in the first place?

if we accept this approach, we have fatally resigned ourselves to a life of pure powerlessness, since everythin you do, and everythin you are, are merely taught and learned, and even the anomalous qualities are known counter-culture responses. all the friends you have and the religion you profess would be reduced to geographical probabilities later ossified into societal fact.

however, i also discovered a thing or two which i dare say was constant. i loved the woman i loved because it felt and probably was a connectivity thing, and i would've progressed with a relationship with her even if she were an african bitch who couldn't speak english and i met her on the market street standin by a cow. i believe my brotherhood with my closest friend, bob the blob was founded on and strengtened by the various trials and tribulations we faced together in school life but i would've been good friends with him anyway if he was some orphan i befriended on a social visit because he and i can understand each other beyond social contexts and even through silence i bet he can tell if i was in despair or joy and i sure as hell can tell if he's very hungry or just hungry. lastly, i feel as if i still would've been called to christ be it wherever the fuck i was born because beyond the socio-political factors which expanded christianity as a religion i do unexplainable things like cry to a choir. if i were a brother in rwanda, i believe jesus wouldda dropped a bible right onto my uzi (but not without attachin a porno mag to get my attention first) and i also believe if i were an illiterate fuckwit i'd still cry to a choir.

it's called faith and it's the one thing that doesn't need to be disproved or substantiated, the reason bein self-defeatist. you must prove science but you can't fuck faith because while people can be sure (and change their minds) about which planets revolve around which, they cannot be sure if god does or doesn't exist. the very point of faith is not bein sure. it's about believin when you got nothin to be sure of.

i believe.

ciao.

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Word Of The Wolf today is militate \MIL-ih-tayt\,

intransitive verb: To have force or influence.

"Many forces militate against the way we turn out in life but genuine stupidity I believe, is assigned."
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Militate comes from Latin militatus, past participle of militare, "to serve as a soldier," from miles, milit-, "a soldier."