Arrivederci Il Kangsta (1981-2004)

you know how they say that things happen to set examples for people?

when bad news comes through cellular phones, it's hard to first conceive of the explosiveness of things. time translates rumour to reality. like when you first heard about your girlfriend cheatin on you, you wanna decapitate the bastard that nicked your bitch, but then you realise you'd really just lost your girlfriend and your best friend in the world. how at first, when you heard about your failin results, you wanna just drink the day away, but then you realise it's gonna be the very first day of an entire wasted year you're gonna be drinkin away on. and today, it was how i first thought i wanna kill some motherfuckers for killin one of my best friends, and then i realised fuck me -they just took away a husband from his fiancee.

it's all over the bloody papers. it's shockin. however, i think that shock, anger, grief and mournin are just mechanisms for survival. in fact i know they are because i studied it in socio. human beings need consolation to help them cope with death, an unexplainable phenomenon. religious men pontificate on heaven, judgment and 'greener pastures'. scientists and philosophers talk of the order of things and the dispensability of men. casual commentators say that people come and go to set examples to show the world a sign, a message. poets and dreamers sing about a better place for those who have left us. in the end however, i know they're all just figments of the frailties of the human mind, helpin us fill in some blanks to that big question mark that i don't think no one can really answer for certain -why does someone have to die?

in my favourite movie (featurin a song titled that very same question), her husband asked virginia woolf in one scene that very same question and she replied that people must die so that others may see the value of life. a contrast, she called it. unfortunately, i think there isn't much contrast for the eleven or so men who took the life of my closest friend for the past year, between their skin against the cockroaches of their cells nor the hue of the noose they'll hang under. i hope that my lord would have mercy on them, for i sure as hell won't.

"how many brothers fell victim to the streets, rest in peace young nigga there's a heaven for a g, i'll be a lie if i told you that i haven't thought of death, my nigga we're the last one's left"

it was not too long ago that i remembered drivin around with the son of a bitch and it was in the midst of my beat-up vectra's tupac-blarin days. he would annoyinly repeat the life goes on track while i pleaded with him to change it. today, i'm cruisin in his audi, and that song hasn't stopped playin in my mind, let alone the car.



Il Kangsta (1981-2004)

don't forget you owe me a threesome with an italian girl, bro.
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Wisdom Of The Wolf today is

"I can't remember if I cried/when I read about his widowed bride/something touched me deep inside/the day the music died/"

-Don McLean "American Pie" 1972