The Man With No Brain

Not too long ago in borneo, there was a man with no brain. he was born without one. well, maybe just an ounce or two of it, the size of a english penny. you see, god had ran out of brain mould that unfortunate day, so he had to go ahead with it because his mother (she's a loser) prayed at the church that she wanted a kid on new year's day to get some publicity in the papers. i guess it was only fair we forgive god for this because with the new year and all he must have overlooked his resources checklist. however i'm quite gutted that this kid had to be born with no brains since it was his mum's fault that she was so attention-seekin.

anyhow, when the kid was finally a man, it was revealed in an x-ray after a football injury that this man had no fuckin brain. doctors all over the world were dumbfounded as to this medical anomaly. in the brain's place was just metres and metres of funny-lookin membrane in the form of a tube. sorta like a rectum. you would ask how a man grew to be so old without no one ever knowin that he had no brain, but i would answer that to live in our world today, it doesn't take much brains too fit in. now his mom knew that this discovery would mean that the son would be held in observation for years, so she smuggled him away and sent him off to long beach, USA in a sunkist box, with much help from an oriental snakehead.

upon reachin shore, he was pleadin for food. as he spoke only malay (strange how he didn't have the mental capacity to learn his own aboriginal dialect but could speak malay fluently without lessons), the americans didn't understand him. luckily, there was an indonesian holiday-maker on the beach so they liaised clumsily and the brainless man eventually got a hotdog, a budweiser and a pack of marlboro lights. preplexed as to the properties of these items because he'd never seen them before in borneo, he stared at them for hours. in the end, he opened the pack of fags and ate all twenty sticks because he thought it looked a lot like the chocolate candysticks his mum used to feed him as a kid. they didn't taste very good so he flushed it down with the bottle of bud. at the instant of tastin the bitterness of beer (he'd never had beer before) he spat it out and condemned the beverage as a western version of the medicine he was fed in his early years durin illness. frustration and desperation drove him to actually think of bein careful with the last item -the hotdog. what should he do with it?

he decided to approach a sunbathin penangite woman to enquire, and produced the item at once with some level of desperation. this emotional display startled the lady but bein lonely, as she was just dumped by her russian boyfriend, she conjured some subconscious delusions on the nature of his enquiry and subsequently interpreted it as a request for sex. to further arouse the confused brainless man, she licked the frankfurt vigourously to suggest foreplay.

the brainless man flashed a thankful look and instantly took off, lickin the hotdog profusely. he walked by a priest and further exaggerated this act, in hope of showin off that he is at home and he knows the score. the priest, unfortunately, was gay as christmas, and decided that a tanned mid-aged asian man was a refreshin change to the irish altar boys he's been bangin. he promptly extended his arm of friendship and his penis of perversion, lurin the hapless chap back to the church where he was plannin a homosexual fiesta of olympic proportions with all the kids as well.

oh shit i gotta study. anyone wanna continue?

ciao.

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Word Of The Wolf today is woolgathering \WOOL-gath-(uh)-ring\, noun:

Indulgence in idle daydreaming.

"Every day, I long for a man to come and excite me, sweep me off my feet and arouse me once more from my reverie and woolgathering."

_________________________________________________________ Woolgathering derives from the literal sense, "gathering fragments of wool."